Am I a Tulpa ?

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Lately, I've found a vast quantity of incredibly brilliant minds on the web.

Blogger's that are so advanced in their thinking, that I wonder if I have ever had an original , let alone a worthwhile thought, in my life.

I enjoy looking into new ideas and philosophies. There is nothing that I won't at least consider. This sometimes tempts me into becoming a follower. This is not my goal and not my style.

I am becoming tired of the search for truth from others. The search for truth is all I've really ever had. All I've ever really wanted.

These brilliant minds teach to look within. They all seem to come to the same conclusion, at least in practice. Forgive, surrender, accept.

And what is reality? What is my capacity to understand it? Why does it feel sometimes as though my mind is unable to go to the places of creative thought that I find in those amazing minds here on the web? I am one of the fortunate ones that have stumbled upon the leaders in these realms. For this I'm fortunate.

They say that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I now understand that every roosters crow is my teacher....one day will I be so advanced as to hear it's crow on every count? In the mean time, these beautiful minds inspire me. They inspire me.I appriceat that they show their strengths and their vulnerabilities. I find them kindred spirits, but, feel as though I have very little, if anything to offer them in return. I do have gratitude. They do get that from me, always.

If I am a tulpa, would I care about these matters. Would I be so desperately trying know? I suppose it doesn't really matter at all either way. Tulpa or not, I'm experiencing life. Life seems to be experience me as well. I am playing my part, however significant or insignificant that may be.